We often confuse feeling grateful with being grateful — but feelings don't reach the people who helped you. Actions do.
Yet, we often fall into that trap: we confuse feeling grateful with being grateful.
A Mistake I Had to Learn From
During my university years, I was fortunate to be guided by a remarkable mentor. She supported me spiritually, nurtured my gifts, and gave me endless opportunities to grow. I was profoundly thankful. As graduation approached, I spent weeks obsessing over how to properly thank her. I analyzed the situation to death.
When the day finally came to leave campus, I had a gift in mind. But in my head, it felt too small, too insignificant compared to everything she had done for me.
So guess what I did?
I left. I said nothing. I didn't even say goodbye.
Was I ungrateful in my heart? Absolutely not. I cherished everything she did. But did I express it? No.
And that is where the distinction lies: being grateful is always an action, never just a thought.
It's fine to let the emotion exist, but its only purpose is to drive you to act. Feelings don't reach the person who helped you — actions do.
Many of the people who help you expect nothing in return. They don't want your money, your resources, or your favors. Most of them don't need any of it.
They just want to know that their investment in you mattered.
Saying thank you is enough. Write that quick text. Send that hand-written note. Customize that mug. Wrap that small gift.
Or simply look them in the eye and say, "Thank you."
Written by Fellow Elijah Collins-Hespelt
